Meet Me On The Second Night Of The War Of The Gods

Only the King with his crown on the floor should be reading this

For he is the only one who will understand

Visions of the day that introductions took place

After the nudge over silicon and wire

Bright spots appear, there is no recollection

Have you since been stolen by another melody?

Sung by someone wrapped in velvet, casting long shadow

I remember your shadow, dark like your Chilean eyes

I would happily follow it through what is left of these days

Celebratory dinners of fried chicken- romantic no?

Trapped in the wardrobe, with only another boy for comfort

Half way up stairwells, trousers down, cocks out

 My god, boy, you were always my king

Do you know this?

Films that caused hysteria, on darkened couches, under softened blankets

Massaged muscles, I like to think that there were times that I made you feel good

But there are different words for the same feelings, the same emotions

I can never forget your eyes, I wonder, are mine as important?

Frustrating moods that cause false alarms

All you need to know is that I loved you

Please don’t burn the memory you have of me

Don’t wash away the thoughts of me

I know that with age I will fade away from you

But remember that I once I loved you

Shared hotel suite

With condoms on the floor

A window with white lace curtains

Free, but together

Laksa and pizza

The world of possibility

You were never alone

Never unprotected

I was unemployed

Smoking outside

You lived so far away

And the mattress was so hard

Peppermint creams

Dynamite and weddings

Black and Gold

Oh, your laugh

Renting a red car

And driving it to the sea

Stopping halfway for a smoke

And seeing the moon

Such a big house

You wouldn’t swim

You thought I was mad

We dragged the mattress up to the top floor

Staring directly at the sun

There was no golden age for the two of us

The governing wheel was the weight on our shoulder

Atlas opened his arms for us and sighed

I believed in the suburban desolation

I believed in being hit by the jumbo jet of your glance

God was in the room when we were on the stairs

And the angels were out with me smoking cigarettes

Decisions were scrounged up from the street

Collars were pulled up and now I’m the complete unknown

You know, you were always so silent

And I had to get used to it

Like you had to get used to my jive-arsed stupidity

But you just had to ask me to stay, to say that you loved me

But you know I got no direction back to those stairs

And god has learnt, somehow, to fly

And the velvet foxes are caught in the cotton traps

And now you have all of those clothes

Those stores, I glanced in once to see if you were there

But all I saw were girls from television commercials

And men from the brothel scandals- I read one of them died

Like the white whale after it learnt about love

And you know that you are the king?

But pick me up out of the dirt when you see me will you?

‘Cause I’m nervous and frayed and emotionally violent

I can’t even imagine who will read this

Will and Grace?

After all the blinds are down and the peppermint medicine administered

Wait… Are you listening?

After the medicine is administered will we all fall apart

Again?

The army won’t line the street for us any more

I have a picture of a bellflower and I need to learn to fly

I could paint your portrait and call it ‘Regret’

It’s an impossible situation, I feel like one of those folk singers

One of those old ladies of the canyon, writing songs about days of false alarms and warmth

And where the fuck are they now?

I don’t know what to say anymore

I don’t know what to write, where are you now and how are you?

I don’t want this to be a requiem nor a boast of our love

Let’s pretend it was nothing for you

Or let’s pretend it was something impossibly grand

Do you wish it never occurred?

Or do you wish I were there with you now?

I want to be the real thing for you

I want to be the fool that you forgive

I want to see the country of your heritage

To see that shiny South American kingdom

With its rust spots and silver mines

Oh, it induces anger and induces pain

It gives my headaches and head spins

It makes me see colours

And please don’t say it’s all there in black and white

I dreamt of you last night, it was the inspiration for these words

I was travelling to you, but you didn’t know it

Am I doing it right now?

There were café’s with roses at their doors

And pine trees along the road

But I didn’t know where to get off

I finally found you and you had aged, you had grown grey

You even had a beard

You made me coffee and I looked around

You had goldfish and you had a pug

This was you in middle age decay

I had lots of money and my family came and me picked me up

And they drove me away from you

I wonder, are you happy now?

Are you happy?

Happy with the weight you have lost

The age you have gained

The time that you have spent looking out at the harems of men

Stuck in the definition of suburbia

The knowledge you have for me

I wonder what it will take for you to give

I still love you. Listening to the birds doesn’t help

Would you still drive me to the sea?

Would you still sleep with me in Room 111?

While politicians drive around in cars unclean

And we make love while the wind blows those leaves

Will you be patient with me?

Or do I need to grow up

Do I just believe in the memory instead of us?

Or do I believe in you instead of myself?

We need windows to stare from together

Books on New York taxis and books on Africa

Books on Freedom and revolution

Books on fucking and love and days out in the hills

Looking at the ranges while a horse looks down as if it knows

Let’s not forget this is all in my head

Let’s not forget I fear what is in yours

Lovers are the trees by the sea

Forever fearing the day they fall in and are washed away

Parted forever and turned to driftwood

What are the chances they meet again?

Is there a need to forgive?

I think there is

So here I am asking for it, for yours

But what will happen then if you deny it, or give it?

When then, what next?

Time won’t stand still in our little snowstorm

Life will return with the light and the night

We will return to our days, to our thoughts

Respectfully, this is our lot, our heaven and hell

I know where you live, so if I love you why aren’t I there?

I know who you are, so if I love you, why don’t I honour this?

All I do is write you this distorted view, this poem

All I do is think and dream of you making no real connection

While you look from that window and create a life of silver and gold

Etching your way through that southern city

I’m a match that has sparked and flamed and then grown cold

Did you ever think I would fit in with your label?

Were you ever ready for love? Ever ready for literature?

Were you prepared for god to spy on you distracted on those steps?

We were miracles, we were called, and we were sent high into the heavens

Yet now I watch as someone is digging a deep hole for our past to lie in

And our grief and our joy are ready to make peace

I can hear the cymbals chime; I can hear the engines turn

I can hear the cranes turn and extend the sky a little further

Where did that train go? Where did you live?

Tiles, and fences and brochures to thumb

I can’t imagine what insipid name that street had

You sold that house and moved away, and suburbia seemed to sigh

Did you praise god, were you a little sad, why did you leave?

I didn’t, I was, I cannot say

We never went to the river

We never went through the air

I asked you to run away with me to Africa, to Botswana

You were so sensible, so sure, so grown up

My sighing is not a sign of hurt, nor is it a sign of desertion

If you feel everything is lost, or even a little our of focus

Pretend I never stood there, out side of that Safeway-

Yes I do remember the first moment we met

I have recalled it since starting this ode to love won and lost and gained and faded

If you feel I have done you wrong

Change your past

Ignore my face, and blur my stride

Find a large church with those beautiful stained glass windows

Ask the priest or whoever to wipe me from your past, to cleanse me from your soul

Just remember I will be writing words like these for a while

You will be hidden in the cave behind my ribcage

You will be saved on my hard drive, your name associated with so much

Your name stuck on the same lines as Love and God and Sex and Regret

So while I walk the streets, trying to leave this town

Looking for the small door in the wall

Ripping the ivy from the brick, chipping the stone from the mortar

And you are lying in your bed late at night

Hearing the Plovers fly over ghostly swings

Thinking of ways to get off the stairwell that leads you further up the tower

That very real tower, with the bells, and the flags

Just know that I can let you out, I will help you escape

As I know that you can help me, I know you can pull this wall down

But if not, I always have Alexander and Syria and Babylon

And you always have your silver and gold companies

The truth of us, oh it makes me smile, it almost makes me laugh

Is that we are naught but a tragedy- a fine one at that

We have never said, it’s over, nor have we said let’s start

There are no technicalities, nor are there rules

We have both been left heart broken, left full of so much love

We could meet tomorrow and live together until the gods are at war

We may never see each other again and the snow would still fall

Yet I think, that we will, if only for a moment

Our lives seem to be chasing one another, like the spring after the summer

And I know I will see your dark eyes again,

I will walk into your shadow once more

For our velvet curtained finale has yet to be played

Our encore has yet to be heard by the plovers, by the clouds and the horse

And the angels have yet to see what will become of us

So please! Meet me on the second night of the war of the gods

In our old room, room 111

And we will make love, and I will embrace you

While the T.V. hums and the cymbals chime